The Secret Life of
Partners Part Two
"Hi, you've reached Mandy Martin. I can't come to the 'phone right now, so leave a message in your sexiest voice right after the beep."
Meldrick was frustrated. How was all this bullshit going to help him? All he wanted to do was drink to forget what had happened, make believe that everything was okay, that Sheppard hadn't died.
"Lewis, are you listening to me at all?"
Tim's voice came hurtling through his thoughts, destroying his studied boredom.
"Huh? You say sumpthin'?"
Tim shook his head in annoyance. Lewis had been like this ever since they had left the Waterfront.
"I asked you why you stopped seeing
Sheppard. You said something about her being too busy. Did she ever say
why?"
Here we go, thought Lewis, annoyed with the fact that he had to be there at all.
"Just because I was screwin' her sometimes don't mean that I followed her 'round. Okay, so she said she was seein' another cop. That make you happy, Timmy-Boy? I lost her to a goddamn uniform!"
Tim was beginning to be sorry that he had been forced to partner with Lewis on this.
"Dammit, Lewis, why didn't you say something before? Do you know what the cop was called?"
Lewis shook his head morosely. He desperately needed a vodka. Tim looked impassively at the desk, still strewn with the extra papers from Sheppard's diary.
"Could this other cop have been a woman? Could it have been Mandy?" he asked quietly.
At this insinuation, Lewis exploded.
"What are you sayin', Timmy? That she was a
fuckin' dyke?"
Lewis slammed his fist onto the desk, causing Kellerman and Munch to stare in surprise.
"Just 'cause you can't make up your mind, it don't mean that everyone's fuckin' queer!"
The squadroom was stunned into silence, all eyes on Tim to see what his reaction would be. Tim merely looked at Lewis, his face stony.
"Okay, Lewis, have it your way. But I'm going to find out if Mandy Martin is a cop. You can either work with me or against me on this one, I don't care. All I care about at the moment is bringing Mandy in and questioning her, okay?"
Tim got up and
walked out of the squadroom, Lewis's comments ringing in his ears.
Karin Khouri was up on the roof. The drizzle had stopped, and the sun was trying to break through a thick cloud cover.
"Hey, Tim. You okay?"
She called out to Tim in a low voice.
"Not really. Feels like the world is shitting on me today. How're things with you?"
Karin threw her cigarette to the floor, and ground it out with the heel of her boot.
"You know, same shit, different day. Look, I'm sorry about Sheppard. I know you were friends. How are you coping?"
Tim shook his head and looked out over the city, much of it still concealed by the receding drizzle.
"I'm okay at the moment, but it's not easy. And Lewis isn't making it any easier. He keeps reminding me that I can't understand the relationship he had with Sheppard because I'm bisexual."
Karin gently put her arm around his shoulders in a friendly gesture.
"If it makes things any
easier for you, I almost had a relationship with another woman once. She was
hitting on me, I was tempted, but it didn't happen. Bet you didn't expect to
hear that from me, huh?"
Tim looked vaguely surprised, but said nothing. He was too preoccupied with Rachel. He desperately needed to talk to someone about it, but not yet. Not until he and Rachel had a chance to discuss it first, and decide what they wanted to do.
"I nearly dated Sheppard. We talked about it, but decided it probably wouldn't work. She was pretty screwed up at the time. I'm gonna miss her, Karin."
Karin looked at him. He was like a little boy lost, not knowing who to turn to, or what to do.
"Hey, it's okay. You are allowed to be human, you know. There's something else, isn't there?"
Tim was almost tempted to tell her about the baby, but changed his mind at the last moment, deciding that it was best to keep it secret for the time being. He looked at his watch, and got up.
"I have to go. See you later, huh? Thanks, Karin. I really appreciate you listening."
He hugged her lightly and went back inside.
************
"Yeah, I know Mandy," said Will Travers, the first uniform that Tim had been able to find.
Lewis had elected not to come with him, and was telephoning Mandy's number in the squadroom.
"She hasn't been in today. She called in and said she was sick. Why do you wanna know about Mandy?"
Will was looking Tim up and down, clearly liking what he saw.
"Did you ever see her with Rene Sheppard at all? Do you know how they knew each other?"
Tim was feeling uncomfortable that he was being sized up by the other cop. It was a long time since another man had been interested in him, and he found he didn't like it any more.
"Shep used to come down here sometimes, just as Mandy was finishing. They used to go and drink at Jimmy's sometimes."
Tim blushed as Will's animated hands
brushed his arm. He could hardly believe that he had once felt so comfortable at
the thought of physical contact with another man. Since he had met Rachel, for
some reason it repelled him.
"Who would have her address? I really need to go see her," said Tim, desperate to get away from Will Travers.
Will pointed him in the direction of a burly woman sat behind a desk at the end of the room. She had cropped blonde hair, like stubble in a wheat field after harvest, and she looked as though she could best Mike Tyson in thirty seconds. From a distance, she could easily pass as a man. The name plaque on her desk pronounced her to be "Officer Merry Bell". Tim approached her with caution, wondering whether her attitude would match her appearance.
"Uh, Officer Bell? I, uh, I've been told that you would be able to give me Mandy Martin's address. Is that correct? Detective Bayliss, Homicide."
Merry Bell looked up at him, looking anything but her name.
"Yeah, 's
right. What's that little tease been doin' now? Oh yeah, her new friend got
offed today, di'n't she? Why you want to talk to Mandy?"
Officer Bell shifted in her seat, the muscles in her arms flexing as she gripped the armrests. This was one formidable woman!
"We think Ms. Martin was the last person to see Ms. Sheppard alive, and we obviously need to talk to her about that."
Tim stared openly at Officer Bell as she was scribbling something on a small slip of paper.
"That's her address, or was 'til yesterday. She was gonna move in with the lady detective. Not that I give a fuck any more."
She turned back to the bodybuilding magazine that she had been reading. Tim was deep in thought.
"Were you and Mandy Martin, uh, involved at all?"
He felt awkward having to ask such a personal question. Merry Bell laughed out loud, a big, baying sound that echoed through the room.
"Hell, yeah! We used to screw, if that's what you mean! 'Til she met Rene Sheppard, that is. Mandy'll fuck anything that moves if she gets a chance, but usually sticks to women. If she's not at home when you get there, there's a gay bar on Aliceanna Street. She'll be in there trying to pick up."
Tim blushed. He had been in there several
times himself. He thanked Merry Bell, and left the office.
Lewis kicked the corridor wall in frustration. He and Tim had driven out to Little Italy to find Mandy Martin's apartment, and, now they had reached it, there was no one at home.
"What we doin' here, anyways? We knew she weren't gonna be here, so why bother? Why not just go to that gay bar? Or you too embarrassed to go in there now you gone straight?"
Lewis was still annoyed at Tim for not allowing him to wallow in self-pity. Much as it hurt him, Tim knew where Lewis's anger was coming from. He would probably have been the same if it had been Frank, or, God forbid, Rachel.
"No, I'm not afraid to go in there," he said quietly. "We have to check everywhere, Lewis, you know that. Come on, let's go find her."
Tim turned and went back down the stairs as Lewis kicked the wall
once more.
Even though it was before six o'clock, the music in the bar was already pounding, the techno beat resounding through the air. It was almost empty, with a smattering of couples sat in booths and singles sat at the bar. Almost instantly, Tim recognised one of the men, and turned away, but he was too late. Chris Rawls had already turned and was coming over.
"Hey, Tim! What are you doing here?"
He reached out to hug Tim, but Tim moved away, trying to avoid contact with the other man with whom he had once been so intimate.
"Uh, I'm okay, Chris. You?"
There was an underlying awkwardness there that the other man picked up on.
"I'm fine, but you're obviously not. What's up?"
Tim looked at Chris Rawls and realised that he was no longer attracted to the restaurant owner.
"I'm here on a case, Chris. Do you know someone called Mandy Martin?"
Chris looked quizzically at Tim before responding. There was a distance there he did not recall the last time they had met.
"Yeah, I know Mandy. Comes in
here sometimes, usually on her own. Why'd you wanna know?"
Lewis stepped in with a quick answer.
"We need to talk to her, is all. You seen her today?"
Chris Rawls shook his head, answering Lewis while all the time closely observing Tim and his reactions.
"No, she hasn't been in here for a while. I think she hooked up with someone in Mount Vernon a few months back, and we haven't seen her since."
Tim looked impassively at Chris, taking in this new information.
"Thanks, Chris. Lewis, why don't you check with the bartender? I have a few things I need to talk with Chris about."
Lewis shrugged, and
made his way over to the bar, where the bartender was dealing with an angry
customer. Tim and Chris walked over to a booth and sat facing each other.
"So, do you want to have dinner tonight, Tim? I have a great piece of steak at home that I want to share with someone…"
Chris left the question hanging, clearly an invitation to more than just a meal. He was still attracted to Tim, but felt that something had changed, something that had tacitly stepped in and come between them. Tim looked him deep in the eyes.
"I can't have dinner with you tonight or any other night, Chris, I'm sorry. I'm involved with someone right now, and it's a long term thing."
There was a slight tremor in Tim's
voice as he thought about Rachel, the woman who was carrying his child, the
woman who he loved with all his heart.
"I'm not asking for a commitment, Tim, just a little fun. Or don't you remember what fun is any more?"
Chris's voice dripped with sarcasm.
"All I want is good food, fine wine, and a little company afterwards. There's no harm in that, is there?"
Tim looked at him, his stony glare cutting through Chris's thoughts of passion.
"I told you, I'm involved. And I don't want to do anything to
ruin it, okay?"
"He'll only find out if you tell him," murmured Chris, as he gently reached out to stroke the back of Tim's hand.
Tim snatched his hand away and shoved it firmly into his lap.
"I said no, Chris! I'm living with a woman, and I found out this morning that she is pregnant with my child!"
His voice was raised in a
sudden outpouring of emotion, and he hadn't noticed that Lewis was standing
behind him, ready to leave. Lewis stood there, a shocked look on his face.
Jesus! Timmy was gonna be a father!
Chris stared at Tim, open-mouthed.
"What the hell happened? You find religion or something?"
He was clearly surprised to hear that Tim was in a straight relationship.
"No, I just found someone I can love, and who loves me for who I am. That's what happened."
Tim rose slowly to his feet, and turned
towards the door, leaving a stunned Lewis in his wake.
Driving back to the stationhouse, Lewis finally found the words to ask Tim what was going on.
"She really pregnant, Timmy? Or you just shittin' to get rid of that guy?"
Tim looked long and hard at Lewis, only just realising that he must have heard every word back at the bar. He looked down at his feet and blushed.
"It wasn't meant to come out like that. Yeah, she's pregnant. Just don't tell anyone, okay? We haven't had a chance to talk about it yet."
Lewis let out a hard breath.
"Whew! Never expected that from you, Timmy-Boy! Whatcha wanna do 'bout it?"
Tim contemplated his hands, before carefully replying to Lewis.
"I'll do whatever makes Rachel happy. I want to be a father, and, the more I think about it, I want Rachel to be the mother of my children, but if she doesn't want a baby right now, that's okay. To be honest, I want this baby, Meldrick."
Tim lapsed into quiet thought.
Lewis was taken aback. He hadn't thought that Tim would be the paternal type, especially after finding out that he was bisexual, and here he was waxing lyrical on how he wanted to be a father, and, more than that, wanted his children with Rachel!
"Jeez, Tim! You sure this is what you want? You not gonna go back to chasin' men when you get bored?"
Lewis wasn't trying to be unkind, just coming straight to the point.
"I can't promise her that I'll never look at anyone else again, male or female, but I can promise her that, right now, it's her and my child that I want to be with. D'you know what I mean, Meldrick?"
It was almost as if Tim
was seeking his approval. Meldrick Lewis nodded, a faraway look in his eyes. He
had always thought that he would have children someday, but since his farce of a
marriage, that prospect seemed nigh on impossible. And now the person he had
least expected to want a steady relationship with a woman was going to be a
father! Maybe there was hope for him yet.
************
Rachel was stood behind the
bar, a glass of orange juice cradled in her tiny hands. Tim stared quietly
through the window at her, lost in his own thoughts about her pregnancy. How
could he tell her that he wanted her to have this baby? What if she wasn't ready
to be a mother? These were questions they'd have to find the answers to
together. He tapped lightly on the window, and she turned to look at him,
smiling weakly. He opened the door, only wanting to hold Rachel and make her
feel better. He stepped behind the bar, and reached out to hug her.
"Have we got time to talk tonight, Tim?" she asked, pleadingly.
He held her face in his hands and kissed her gently.
"I promised we'd talk, and that's what we're going to do. Lewis'll be here as soon as he gets the car back to the pool, and he's gonna take over. We can go get some food and talk properly then. Are you okay?"
Tim's face was lined with concern, as Rachel was pallid and somewhat quiet.
"Yeah, just still in shock, I guess. How did you manage to persuade Meldrick to cover?"
Rachel looked up at him with inquisitive eyes. Tim blushed scarlet.
"He knows you're pregnant. I'm sorry, Rachel, I know we haven't discussed it yet, but it wasn't my fault. Do you remember I told you about Chris Rawls?"
Rachel nodded, fearful of what was coming next. She
knew that Chris had once meant a lot to Tim.
"I bumped into Chris again in a bar when I was searching for a suspect today. He came onto me, and I turned him down. He started to tease me, and, I, I guess it just slipped out. Lewis was behind me. I'm sorry, Rach, I didn't mean for anyone to know until we'd talked, but Chris made me so mad! I'm so sorry."
He reached out to her and took one of her hands in both of his.
"I meant what I said this morning, Rachel. I love you, and whatever you want to do about this baby, it's fine with me, okay? I'm gonna be here no matter what we decide, okay?"
He
bent to kiss her gently on her lips, and pulled her into his arms. He felt her
start to sob, quietly.
"Are you sure that you mean it, Tim? I mean, would you be ready to be a dad if that's what I said I wanted?"
She looked long and hard at him, concern and longing showing in her deep blue eyes.
"It's not what I want that matters, Rachel. It's what you want, what's best for you that counts. And if you decide that you want our child, then I'm with you all the way. It's the same if you don't want this baby. I'll still support you whatever it is you want to do."
Rachel was surprised at these heartfelt words. She had never imagined Tim to be the paternal type, and she was somewhat taken aback.
"What if I told you that I do want this baby?"
She left the question hanging, and watched his reactions intently. A grin slowly spread across Tim's face.
"You mean it? You want to keep our baby?"
He sounded incredulous. He hadn't known where Rachel stood on the subject of children, they had never discussed it. Rachel looked up at Tim, tears of happiness shining in her eyes.
"Am I right in thinking that you wanna be
a dad, Tim?"
He nodded slowly, eyes never wavering from her face.
"I didn't know how to tell you. I thought that you wouldn't want to be a mom."
Rachel smiled, and put her arms around Tim's waist.
"I thought that you wouldn't want a baby right now, either. I don't know why I was so nervous about telling you."
She put her hand behind his head, and pulled him down into a passionate kiss.
"And just for the record, I love you too, Tim."
At that moment, Meldrick Lewis came into the bar, interrupting their heart-to-heart.
"Hey, Rach. How you doin'? I'm sorry I was a dick this mornin'. If I'd known you were pregnant, I wouldn't have given you no shit. You okay?"
He pushed past them to get behind the bar, and pulled a bottle of vodka and a shot glass out from underneath.
"Don't look at me like that, Timmy-Boy! I only came with you today so's I could come in and get smashed tonight. Ain't that true, Rach?"
Meldrick Lewis had an impish grin adorning his face. Rachel smiled at him, and nodded.
"Go on, Meldrick. You need it after the day you've had. Anyway, Tim and I have to go get some food. You take it easy, huh? See you tomorrow."
Rachel stood on tiptoe
and planted a small kiss on Lewis's cheek, causing him to blush profusely. He
slowly poured his first shot of many as Rachel and Tim left the bar.
************
Rachel stood naked in front of the mirror, her hands smoothing over her still-taut belly. Tim came up behind her and put his hands on hers.
"Will you still want me when I'm fat and bloated? When I'm moaning about how much my back hurts and how sick I feel?"
She looked at him in the mirror, a mischievous smile playing across her lips.
"Oh, no. Of course I won't want you! I'll be out chasing someone else at the first hint of a bump there!"
He gently kissed the side of her neck and moved his hands up to her breasts. She turned to face him and pulled him into a long, slow kiss. Tim bundled Rachel into his arms, and they tumbled onto the bed in fits of laughter.
Rachel lay on her back with Tim leaning over her, kissing for a few minutes. Tim pulled back and looked lovingly down at Rachel.
"Will you marry me?" he stated simply.
Rachel lay there in a stunned silence, not quite sure whether Tim was being serious.
"Did I hear right? Did you just ask me to marry you?"
He looked at her with an open smile on his face, and nodded.
"You're going to be the mother of my child, Rachel, and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. You don't have to make up your mind yet, but please think about it."
He blushed as he finished, his final words coming out in a rush.
Rachel was shocked, and not for the first time that day.
"I, I don't know what to say. I mean, I hope you're not just asking me to marry you because I'm pregnant!"
The words came out more harshly than she'd intended, and she noticed the hurt in Tim's eyes.
"Shit, I've done it again! I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me. I didn't mean it like that, Tim. I guess what I meant was you'll have to give me some time. I'm only just starting to come to terms with the fact that I'm pregnant. But I promise you, Tim, I'm not saying no. I'm just saying let me think about it."
He was still looking hurt, and she knew that all the words
in the world wouldn't take that hurt away. Why did she always do this? Tim was
the only man she had felt this way about, and now she was pushing him away.
Tim wasn't surprised at Rachel's reaction, but it still hurt him. He knew that she loved him, but wasn't sure that her feelings went as deep as his. Now he was scared that he was going to lose her, no matter what words of comfort she was offering.
"I shouldn't have asked. Sorry."
He got up from the bed and made to walk out into the living room. Rachel leapt from the bed, and grabbed his hand.
"Tim, I know I hurt you, and I'm sorry. But I really will think about marrying you. It's just that there's so much for me to deal with at the moment, if I think about anything else, my head'll explode! I just need some time to think, that's all. I do love you, and I hope you know that. Will you come back to bed?"
She
looked up at him, her blue eyes shining with tears, upset because of the hurt
she had caused. Tim looked back at her, and couldn't remain angry for long when
he thought about their child growing inside her. He scooped her up in his strong
arms, and laid her gently down onto the bed.
He kissed her gently on the
lips, and she responded with passion. She started to play with the buttons on
his shirt, slowly undoing them, smoothing her hands across his chest. Tim looked
down at Rachel, consumed with happiness. He had finally found someone he could
love on an equal footing, and they were going to have a baby together. He had
never thought that this would happen to him, especially not after discovering
that he was bisexual. It was always something that he had wanted, but had never
found anyone that he had felt ready to settle down with. Maybe it had taken
exploring his sexuality to find what he had always wanted.
Rachel was nibbling gently on his neck, her hands roaming everywhere, wanting to feel everything. He started to kiss her again, this time with more passion, things starting to get more intense between them. Entwined on the bed, it felt like a new beginning, the start of something better. Rachel had just removed Tim's pants when the insistent, shrill ring of the telephone interrupted them.
"Mmmmm, ignore it," Tim whispered huskily in Rachel's ear.
His hand had strayed between her legs, causing her to gasp with pleasure. Rachel pushed Tim away slightly.
"We can't ignore it, Tim. What if it's about Rene?"
Tim sighed, and nodded resignedly.
"You're right. But if I have to go out, I want you to be awake when I get back. I want to finish what we've started!"
He kissed her
once more, slowly rose from the bed, and padded, almost naked, into the living
room. Rachel watched him go, her attention focused on his tight, firm butt.
"Bayliss. What is it?"
Rachel caught snippets of a one sided dialogue as she put on her midnight blue satin robe that Tim had bought for her in New York and followed him through into the living room. She perched herself on the arm of the battered leather armchair that Tim had claimed as his own since moving in, and put her arm around his neck.
"Yeah, okay. I'll be there."
Tim hung up the receiver, and looked at Rachel.
"That was Will Travers, one of the uniforms
who were at the scene today. They found Mandy Martin in an alley. She was blind
drunk, so they pulled her in. She's sleeping it off in the cells tonight, so I
have to go in at seven tomorrow to interview her."
He turned in the chair, and pulled Rachel down onto his lap.
"So that means that we're free to go back to bed…"
He broke off to kiss her, and gently pushed her robe down over her shoulders, exposing her bullet hard nipples.
"God, you look too good in this!"
His voice was soft and low, and Rachel could feel his erection
stirring beneath her. He scooped her into his arms again, and carried her back
to the bedroom, closing the door behind them with his foot. Laying her on the
bed, he untied the belt of her robe, exposing her expectant body to his
attentions.
Rachel slid on the satin as she writhed under Tim's gentle touch. His hands were gently caressing her thighs, occasionally delving between her legs, and making her moan out loud. Rachel slid Tim's jockey shorts over his hips, and began to massage him gently. He let out a sharp cry, and plunged deep inside her. He orgasmed quickly, and looked at Rachel sheepishly.
"I'm sorry, I just couldn't help it. I wanted you so much."
He rolled off and sat on the edge of the bed, almost ashamed. Rachel sat up behind him and put her arms around him.
"Hey, it's okay. Shit happens sometimes."
She kissed the back of his neck and turned him to face
her. She kissed Tim full on the mouth, and he responded, his hands slipping
between her legs. She lay across his legs and relaxed as his hands found all the
right places, gently bringing her to her own orgasm. Her body shuddered as she
climaxed, and she held onto Tim tightly, letting the waves of pleasure gradually
subside.
"Did you mean it when you asked me to marry you?" she asked quietly.
Tim looked up at her, her wide blue eyes shining in the soft light from the table lamp.
"Of course I meant it. I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't. Why?"
Rachel's hand moved away from his hair and she started to stroke his cheek.
"I do want to marry you, Tim, so I guess the answer's yes. But not just yet. I need some time to sort all of this out, to get it all clear. Do you mind?"
Tim sat up and took her in his arms. He had a huge smile on his face, his eyes shining with joy.
"Rachel, that's great! I don't mind how long you want to wait, that doesn't matter. What matters is that you've just made me happy. And I promise I'll try to make you happy too."
He kissed her long and deep, and they fell asleep in each other's arms.