A Kiss Is Just

By Maria P

Kellerman slammed his fist into the punching bag with ferocity. Here in the gym at the police station, he could relieve all the tension that was plaguing him. He had gotten very little sleep that day. The switch in rotation schedules made a wreck of his internal body clock, that and being up all the previous night.

He tried not to think about them, these two women who were tugging at his heartstrings. Mike was disillusioned by Juliana's lack of decision on their relationship. Same pattern every time: She would breeze into his life, they would connect, get drunk, make love, one or the other pulling away, usually her. Cox wanted to meet him that night at Jimmy's before shift, to "talk" about things.

Boom, boom, boom.

Unfortunately, what could have become an easy resolution as far as his ex-lover went was sullied by the passionate kisses he shared with Karin in the wee hours of that morning. He had spent most of the day suppressing dreams about his partner, trying to distance himself from the idea of romancing her. Yet, having her in his arms, kissing her sweetly, he was rendered breathless and confused. "Sure, I lust after her. Who wouldn't? She's gorgeous, has a great body, and those lips and eyes. And I wanna to reach over, take her home and make love to her. "

Boom, boom, BOOM! Kellerman punched the bag so hard it nearly fell off its mooring.

So what to do? Take another gamble with Juliana, hoping this time his repressed love for her may finally be returned. Or take the risk with Karin, praying that she would not use the department's rules against detectives on the same shift dating as an excuse to scuttle any hopes of an affair.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!! boo……………….

"Hey Kellerman. Looking for a chance at Tyson?" She swung the bag back in his direction, Mike catching it with both hands before it smacked him in the head. "You got a pretty good punch there. Think you should enter the department boxing championship."

"Hey." he whispered, happy and anxious about seeing her.

"Hey." she replied flirtatiously.

"What are you doing here?"

"Uh,, same thing you are." Karin replied, acting somewhat offended.

"Box?"

"No, work out." she laughed. She walked towards the treadmill, a slight smile on her face.

He grinned to himself, watching her. Even in her Baltimore PD PAL T-shirt, baggy black cotton shorts, no makeup and hastily pulled back ponytail, she remained a vision of beauty.

She started the treadmill, increasing the speed and slope exponentially, eventually running at a furious pace. She exhaled, inhaled roughly, pumping her arms as she ran. He attempted to return to his exercise, but found her quite distracting.

BOOM, BOOM, BANG!

"God Mikey," she said sarcastically, "who are you pissed at?"

"What?"

"What? The way you are jabbing." Karin slowed the machine down a little. "Makes me think you have some aggression to get out. So?"

"So?"

"What are you wound up about?"

"You want the truth?" He shrugged his shoulders. "I guess I'm nervous."

"About?"

"Juliana wants to talk." BOOM!

"Oh." She tried to hide the distress in her voice. "Talk?"

"So she says." BOOM!

"I guess it's time to make or break, huh?"

"Yeah." Mike wiped the sweat off his face.

"Well," Karin stated with a touch of disappointment. "Good luck to you."

The next few minutes were spent going around the circuit of exercise machines, Mike watching his partner in appreciation. She peeled off her T-shirt, revealing a blue, sleeveless, waist skimming exercise bra. He could see her flat, lightly muscled abdomen. "Don't know if you did that on purpose, babe. You look great...really good. Just as I imagined in my dreams." "What exactly happened with Eric last night?" he asked her finally, as if he needed some pointers.

"I told you."

"No, you told me you dumped him. Why last night?"

"He came to my house to pick me up for our date. Eric started this bullshit about how he missed me while he was in San Francisco" "Yeah, he missed me so much he didn't call to see how I was doing, or ask me about that multiple homicide I was working on. I tried to tell him about it, and all he could do was tell me how we could order in and have dinner in bed the s.o.b." Karin picked up a ten-pound barbell, placing one foot on a workout bench, bending down slightly "He made some smart ass remark and we started to fight. I just came to the conclusion that I couldn't prolong something that was inevitable. So I said 'this isn't working out. We need to see other people'. I was going to break up with him after dinner. But he started being such a jerk about it that I told him off before we left."

"Ouch."

"Like I said," she shrugged her shoulders dismissively, " it was inevitable."

"Just like that?" "You don't waste time do you?"

"Uh huh." she stated emphatically.

"What was the remark about?"

"Huh?"

"What did he say to set you off?"

"He hated my lipstick." She finished her triceps exercises, making her way to the leg curl machine. Mounting it, she extended her legs up slowly, stopped, then back down in one smooth movement.

"Why?"

"He said it was too red and vibrant, made me look like a hooker."

"I thought it made you look sexy." he said with a hint of flirtatiousness.

"What?"

"Ah…nothing." Mike walked over to the bench press, locking twenty-five pound weights on both ends of the bar. He lay down, grasping the bar with both hands, beginning to lift.

Karin moved on to an incline bench, working on her stomach crunches. "I knew he hated it… "

"So you did it to annoy him?" He exhaled loudly.

"No, not really. I just liked the color."

"Well, good for you."

"Yeah, well…I never let any man make unreasonable demands on me. Didn’t see a reason to start."

"He was no good for you." Mike concluded assuredly.

"So you said." She walked over to him, standing behind the bench. She gazed down on him, pleased by the way his T-shirt clung to his muscular chest, enough for her to lose temporary control of herself. "What does a girl have to do to get you to take it off?" "Need a spotter?"

He was taken aback by her sly grin. "Sure."

He completed his set, helping her attach some 10 pounds weights to begin her weightlifting. She lifted the bar over her head, holding the position for a second before pumping. "You know what my Grandma says about girls having muscles?"

"What's that?"

"She said, 'Karin, nice girls don't have muscles.'"

Mike laughed. "So, you're not a nice girl huh? Hmmm. You have such incredible …stop it Mikey. Don't be such a drooling idiot." He assisted her in putting the bar back in its place when she was finished.

They sat down on the weight bench, eyeing each other warily. Karin burst out in an embarrassed grin. "God, I can't believe I said that." She shook her head and laughed at herself, placing a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Here I am giving you grief about lame pick up lines…and one just flew off my lips."

"I forgive you." "Especially because you're so sexy. God her legs go on forever." His dimples stood out as he smiled. "Speaking of lame lines…I have one for you."

"Yeah?" she teased.

"I like the way you kiss."

Karin tilted her head, not sure what to say.

"Yeah, I know…" He tried to recover some of his dignity. "It's pretty lame. Actually," he snickered, "it is beyond lame. Stupid, huh?"

"No, no, no…Mike...it's…" She reached down, picking up his hands, locking her fingers with his. The electricity of his skin was almost too much for her. "No man has ever told me that before."

"Get out of here!"

"I'm serious." she said lightly. "No one ever complimented me on my kissing."

"Well, I am." Mike freed one hand and stroked the back of her hand and lower arm. "Karin , about the night before…"

"What about it?" Her voice was apprehensive, somehow expecting the worst news.

"I…I would like to…ask you out on a date or something."

"Something?"

"Like us, getting together, doing something." He caught her eyes, trying to hide the nervous tinge to his voice.

"'K,, yeah, ,that would be good." she agreed.

"How about this Saturday?" He rushed through his question before she could have a chance to turn him down. "I'm taking the boat out on a charter down to Ocean City. You're welcome to come along."

"I'd love to." Her smile was warm and sincere. "But.."

"Here it comes….but sorry Mike. We should not see each other that way."

"But, my nephew's soccer league is having its last game of the summer, and there's this big barbeque thing afterward for JJ's team. I promised Jimmy and Di that I would help out."

"Oh." he mumbled, relieved.

"Hey." Her face lit up. "If your charter ends early enough, why don't you stop by? It's in Towson, at his house. My bro makes a pretty mean barbecue cheeseburger."

"I can't."

"Oh?"

"I ah…am taking this couple around the Harbor later. The guy wants to propose to his girlfriend and wanted a romantic sail. so.."

"That is so sweet." she drawled, misty-eyed.

"Yeah, well for his sake, I hope she says yes."

"I think I would if someone were to do that for me."

"Really? Who knows, maybe someday it will happen. Yeah right, me on bended knee, asking for your hand in marriage. Jumping the gun again Kellerman."

"A rain check, maybe?" she whispered hopefully.

"Yeah, sure… anytime."

"Good." She smiled shyly, looking down at their joined hands. The chemistry from the night before had not faded.

"Great." he replied quietly.

"Okay, well… I guess I'd better shower, get dressed." She cleared her throat. "Listen, I'm going to Jimmy's to get a bite before shift. Want to come along?"

"I can't. I have…"

"Yeah, I forgot, you have to meet Juliana."

"Yeah." He felt a familiar pang in his heart.

"Well…I won't keep you then…"

"No, it's okay, really. I'm just trying to get geared up for whatever happens."

"I can understand." she said sympathetically.

Mike looked into his partner's eyes. He made his choice. He reached up, cupping her left cheek with one hand, stroking her cheekbone with one finger. "I really do like the way you kiss." he repeated gently. "But it's kinda dangerous…"

"Why's that?" Karin's stomach was twisted up in knots.

"'Cos if I keep doing it, I just might…lose control."

"Oh." She nodded her head, easing into a flirty smile.

He held his breath, noticing her locking her eyes with his. Her heart was racing, anticipating what he might do.

Mike tilted his head and kissed her gently, quickly. She exhaled, closing her eyes. He kissed her lightly twice more. His other hand touched the opposite side of her face, caressing her eyelids, her cheek and lips. Moving in for a taste of her mouth, they heard someone approaching the exercise room. Karin pulled away from his embrace, looking down, smiling guiltily.

"Am I interrupting something?" Cox walked over to Mike, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, laying a fast peck on his lips.

"Actually no." Karin felt her heart sink, "I was just leaving for the locker room. Well Mike.." she stated evenly, getting up. "I'll see you at roll call." With a pained and exasperated glance, she nodded her head at Juliana. "Dr. Cox."

Mike watched Karin walk out the door. "Perfect! Wonderful timing."

"She's certainly got a figure." Juliana said with a pinch of jealousy.

"I didn't notice."

"Yeah, I noticed you not noticing." Cox smiled at him, thinking how sexy his body was now that he went back to taking care of himself. "Let me guess, you flirted with her the minute she stepped into the squad room."

"Munch and Lewis did too." Mike answered defensively.

"Hey, I wasn't accusing you of anything."

"Uh huh." he answered flatly.

"It must be tough," Cox said sarcastically, "having to fight off men left and right."

"Karin can take care of herself. Trust me." Visions of her cold cocking a murder suspect danced in his head.

"Meet ya' at Jimmy's in half an hour?" The former ME smiled broadly at him, touching the nape of his neck suggestively, weaving fingertips through his blonde hair.

"Yeah, see you there."

Juliana planted a passionate kiss on his lips, somewhat surprised that his ardor didn't match hers. As she walked away, he gathered himself. The memory of Karin's kiss on his mind, he took a deep breath, formulating how he would have to tell Juliana the truth.

Mike meandered to the restaurant's door, stopping just short. He had showered, changing into his work clothes, his blue shirt and striped tie, black pants with his jacket slung over his arm. Knowing what he had to do didn't make it any easier. If Karin could end her romance without regret, so could he.

He walked in, nodding his head in greeting to one of the uniforms. He approached the table Cox sat at slowly. She acknowledged him with an easy smile. "Hey."

"Hey." He draped his jacket over his chair.

"Midnight shifts huh?" Cox sipped her coffee nonchalantly. "Got to be the worst."

"Yeah, well...it's all bad lately."

"I heard the mayor is promising to reduce the murder rate in this town."

"Yeah. O'Malley's got a plan all right." Mike smirked. He turned to the waitress. "BLT please and coffee."

The couple regarded each other silently, awkwardly. "Two years of not hearing nothing from you, then bang! Here you are, tearing my little world apart." Mike dumped sugar into his coffee cup.

"So, here we are." she began, "Just like old times."

"Not exactly like old times." he reminded her.

"True." She remembered how they would meet at the Waterfront, drinking themselves into a stupor, stumbling through foreplay aboard the Case Closed, fumbling through sex. Waking up together, feeling hung over and unsure of what to do. "Is Karin still seeing that guy?"

Why are you asking about that? "No, she left him yesterday."

"Good, good for her." "And it doesn't look like she spent too much time in mourning the breakup." "Okay Mike, I won't waste any more time. So here it is." Juliana reached for Kellerman's hands, remembering how strong and rough they were. She loved his hands, more when they touched her bare flesh. "I know we haven't exactly had a conventional relationship."

"You just figured that out?" Mike took a swig of his joe.

"No.. I mean when we met, it was a rough time for both of us."

"There's an understatement." With her father's death and his federal investigation, a mature love affair was the last thing they could manage.

"Well, now things are different, better I hope. You have your job back, and I just got a job offer at Hopkins…"

"Yeah? Good for you." Mike's sarcasm was muted.

"Thanks."

"And?" he said impatiently.

Cox exhaled, boring her dark eyes onto his, trying to read him. His lack of interest irritated her. "I would like us to have a chance, to...to do this right."

"Date?" Mike asked tentatively

"Yeah, date." she said simply.

"And no sex?" he inquired further.

"Not for a while." she stated with a suggestive smile. "So? What do you say Kellerman?"

Mike caressed his cup nervously, eyes downcast. Suddenly, he was once more haunted by visions of Karin in his bed, naked and slumbering with his limbs tangled up in hers. Yes, there were good times with Juliana, but he had to do what she did: move on.

"Mike?" she asked hesitatingly

"Juliana..." he began, pausing to look her in the eyes. "I met someone."

"Met someone?" Cox withdrew her hands from his quickly.

"Yeah, last night, a woman…" he mumbled clumsily, "and …I really like her. A lot."

"Oh." She fidgeted nervously, not expecting this scenario.

"It's just…look I changed, you've changed. We've all grown up. And truthfully, I am thinking about my future." "And that includes a wife and children." He ached from seeing the pain in her eyes.

"Okay, okay. whatever." A mixture of anger and betrayal lit up her eyes. "For a long time you complained how I couldn't commit to you Mike. And now, when I'm ready, you tell me you don't want or care for me anymore? What has changed about you that much?" Juliana rose from her chair, slamming down a twenty-dollar bill on the table. "It's on me." she muttered angrily.

"Juliana, if we have had this talk sooner…" He hesitated, not knowing how to finish his thought, still confused by his feelings.

"Well, you can't have regrets Kellerman." she murmured offhandedly, "You can't go back and make it better."

"It was always bad timing with us." he whispered, regretfully.

"Yeah. Well…got to go." Gathering up her outrage, the doctor lowered her eyes upon him, anger in her voice. "I hope you and Karin will be happy."

"Whoa, whoa." Mike grabbed her wrist. "What does she have to do with this?" he demanded.

Cox paused, pursing her lips. "I saw you."

"Saw me what?"

"Leaning into her, holding her face." Juliana's jealousy was obvious. "You were going to kiss her."

He felt the breath leave his lungs, as though she had punched him in the chest hard.

"How long have you been with her?"

"I am not with her." he replied, irritated at her accusation.

"Oh, so those kisses…." She scrunched her eyes, recalling, painfully, the image of Mike's lips touching the other woman's with intent.

"She's my partner, I can't date her." he argued. "Great. Caught in the act. Karin is going to kill me."

"But you can sleep with her." Cox spat.

"What?" He let out the word quietly, dragging out the sounds.

"Oh come on Mike! Isn't that your pattern?" she said, fuming. "Did you take her to the boat and seduce her huh? Tell me, is she a good lay?"

"I…" He rubbed his eyes, wanting so bad to shut off the pain. "That's none of your business, but no Juliana. I did not sleep with her."

"You want to."

"I …don't know. " he whispered. "Yes I do. I wanna make love to Karin, not just sleep with her. I wanna see if there is something there. And I'm terrified. What if I fall for her and she doesn't for me?"

"Just remember Mike. Be careful where you display your affection. You wouldn't want Gee to see you in a compromising position with your partner." she said coolly, spitting out the last word.

Mike got up and followed her, grabbing her, spinning her around. "Are you threatening me?" His eyes turned a deep shade of blue, reflecting the rage he felt inside.

Juliana suppressed a tear, not wishing to let Mike know he won by seeing her cry. "I'm just telling you, watch your back." With that, she turned on her heel and slammed the door on her way outside.

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